Pet Grief

Losing Our Furry Companions is Just as Difficult

 Losing a pet can be just as hard as losing a loved one.  I am very close to all of my pets.  Sometimes I tend to tell more to my pets than I tell to my family, well, because they can't spill any of my secrets.

My Youngest Cat: Guinness (a.k.a Kitten)
14 years old (Passed away March 6, 2014)

Guinness (above) has passed away most recently from a cancerous tumor on her backside. It completely broke my heart. She and her five other brothers and sisters were born in my mud room fourteen years ago.  She slept with me every night, and liked to use my arms and hands as scratching posts, which was never fun. I still loved her, though! She was an outdoor cat for most of her life, until one day, we would open the door, and she would look out, and turn around and go back upstairs.  

I miss her dearly, and it is very strange not having her around in my room, meowing at me every minute for love and attention. She will always be in my heart.

My Oldest Cat: Tinkerbell (Guinness' mother)
About 20 years old (Passed away three years ago)

Tinkerbell (above) is our oldest cat.  Before I was born, my parents owned a perfect white cat, Puddy, who passed away when I was four years old.  One night, I was being babysat and my parents were out at a special dinner.  I was about to head to bed, but my babysitter accidentally let our cat Puddy outside.  My babysitter quickly opened the door again, and called for her. She came back in, but another cat followed.  It was Tinkerbell.  She came onto our back patio, and was not planning on leaving.  My babysitter decided to give her a bowl of milk to see what she would do with the offering. Tinkerbell gladly accepted the milk, and from that moment on, she was ours.  What we didn't realize was that she was pregnant, and about four months later, she delivered five kittens.  We had friends adopt four and we kept one, which was Guinness.

Tinkerbell was a complete outdoor cat, and hated to be inside.  She was so sweet, and never wanted to bother or hurt anyone.  She ran away for a while, and when she didn't return, my dad and I realized that she had passed away.

I miss her as well.  She is still so special to me.

My Dog and My Best Friend: Molly
10 years old (Still living)

Molly, my all time favorite pet, is amazing. She never bites or barks. She just loves to cuddle! She can always sense when someone is feeling upset or really happy, because she will react along with you.  She will nudge under your arm and try to comfort you, but if you are feeling very happy, she will jump up and down like a mini deer. She will play with you. She always knows what to do, just so you can keep a smile on your face. She is protective, but only in a good sense.  

My dog and two cats were the ones that I was able to go to after the death of my mother.  It was almost like they could tell that she was going to die before any of us could.  

Pets are wonderful companions. Whether it be a fish, dog, cat, lizard, bunny, hamster, guinea pig, horse, pig, bird, or goat, they are all our best friends. 

It is always such a terrible moment when we lose that best friend. I have experienced it three times.  Our reactions are sometimes the same and sometimes different from when we grieve a human's death.  

One thing that I have done and that my friends have done is that they have had the body of their pet cremated or placed in a box for the family to take home.  

Another helpful idea for coping with the loss of your pet is to remember all of the fun times you and your pet(s) had together.  Since I have lost both of my cats, I have tried to remember all the times that they both would sleep with me on my bed, and each one would be on either side of me.  I also remember that the two cats would fight over each other's food bowls.  I had to put both down at the same time, or else Guinness would eat Tinkerbell's food before any of us knew what happened.  My mom and I would laugh over the small things like this.  Although I miss my two cats, I know that I will always have our memories in my heart, like I do with the memories I have with my mother.  

The other day, some one suggested that I could adopt a mini-me version of one of my cats, so it is basically like their lives begin all over again.  

Do not dwell on the passing of your pets. Just know that they are in a more comfortable place, where there is no harm or pain.  Their spirits will live on, even when they do not.  

If your pet is going to pass away soon, or not, cherish every moment you spend with them. I know I did before Guinness died. I sat with her and just stroked back the matted fur that had formed from the cancer.  Your pets love you, and do the same for them.  

When the time comes for them to pass, tell them a heartfelt goodbye. It may not mean as much to them, but to you, it explains how much compassion you have for them.  

Pets are just as important as our loved ones.  

Here is a video about pet grief:

As Always,

Elizabeth

The pictures above are mine.

Linda Ann June 11, 1958~June 25, 2009

A Biography of the Loving Mother, Wife, and Loved One

 My mom, Linda, was born on a beautiful June day; June 11, 1958.  

 She was born in New Jersey, and at a young age, she moved with her family to Connecticut.  She had a brother, my uncle, and her mom and dad, my grandmother and grandfather.

As she got older, they adopted a black lab and named her Charlie.  She was so kind to everyone, as I've heard, and nestled in on your lap if you were sad or feeling alone.  

She went to college at Colby-Sawyer College.  She told me of a story when my grandmother, her mother went to pick her up in the winter and the car heater was broken and there was about two feet of snow on the ground!  

Later, she met my dad.  She was a secretary of someone with whom my dad was working on a project.  They got married in 1991.  

A few years later, I was born and became the huge focal point of their lives.  I was a lucky girl, and still am.  

In 2000, we moved to a new house where we lived for 13 years.  As a surprise one summer, my mom and grandfather painted my room pink, my favorite color at the time.

In 2003, we adopted our yellow lab, Molly.

She is the light of our lives.  She is the one who I have relied on to help me through my grief.  

Back to my mother, in 2004, she had to have brain surgery due to a brain tumor.  She had the procedure and came home.  She recovered fully, and led a normal life.

We went to the Cayman Islands for spring break, we went to Kiawah Island with family, and we traveled all the time. I even went to the Christian-Science summer camp my mom and uncle went to in Maine when they were growing up.  

My mom joined Weight-Watchers to lose the weight she had gained from the medications she had to take.  She lost most of the weight she wanted to lose, and was very pleased with herself.  

Then, in 2009, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer; the most difficult battle of her entire life.  She was put on chemotherapy.  She had many times of switching between living in the hospital and living at home in a hospital bed.  She turned 52 on June 11th of that year, and was failing slowly.  She was surrounded by family and friends all the time.  I was there for most of it, and was only 12 years old.  I hated being at my home, and would do anything to be away from my mom.  I was afraid of when my mom's death would occur.  

Finally, on June 25, 2009, my mom, the beautiful, strong, amazing Linda passed away surrounded by my grandparents, four hospice nurses, my dad, and me.  We knew it was time, and knew she was at peace.  

My dad and I went through heck and back through each other's grief, feeling pain whenever we saw moms and daughters having fun, or husbands and wives sitting together.  My family stuck together through thick and thin, and we still do.

~~~~~~

This is my story, but really my mom's.  It is the very shortened version, but I wanted to let you all know that I can totally relate to how you all feel, because my mom died right in my own home.  I will forever love her, and I know that my grief will someday feel better, and I will be able to stand up straight again.

Creating this helped me more than you may think, and I believe that if you wrote an "obituary" or "biography" or your loved one's life, it would help tremendously.

It can make your journey so much easier.  Just sit down with a piece of paper and a pen or pencil or in front of a computer screen and write the story or stories of your loved one(s) lives.  It makes the memories we had with them more fun to think about, and it makes us think about the things our loved ones did and not just that they died, but maybe helped in a charity or played a lot of sports or had ten children, something like that.  It's a fun exercise I think all of us could benefit from, and don't worry! No one would have to read it, it's just for you!

Here is a post to help you get started writing~

http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/how-to-write-an-obituary-or

The pictures from above are mine.

Good luck and As Always,

Elizabeth