Am I Alone? Am I Okay?
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| You may feel lonely, and scared, but always remember, you are not going through grief by yourself. |
It is always important to feel safe. Right? Yes. We may have had an experience when someone tried to jump out at us, from a bush, or from a dark room and try to scare us. I have never liked those moments, and I'm sure no one has. No one likes to feel afraid or alone, at least I know I don't!
Grief is kind of like this because it can jump on us at any time, like a friend jumping out behind the door of a closet. We never know when we will feel depressed with it, but we do know, and I know, that we can all handle it. We have been strong, and if we continue to be that way, grief can feel better and not as 'scary.'
Reaching out to feel safety is always important as well. I have always looked to reach out to my family, who always, sometimes know what to say to me when I am in pain. They make me feel 'safe.'
My mom's death sent me downhill, but reaching out to others has brought me back up to the surface. When we lose someone, it is hard to want to do anything or say anything to the ones who are offering help.
Safety in our grief is different for everyone, and can be very important. Feeling 'scared' or 'alone' in our grief can cause us to fall deeper in our grief. Sometimes, if we look at old pictures or home movies, and we see our passed away loved one, it sometimes is very sad because you may wish to be with that person again and do that same activity again.
Not everyone likes to publicize their grief, which is completely understandable because sometimes I don't either. I have realized, the hard way, that when I am able to speak of my grief, or tell a story of my mother, I feel better because then, the people around me know why I may be acting sad or strange.
I do think, though, that we can all agree that grief really stinks. Our lives are not made to dwell on our grief, they're made to live them out with big and small challenges, and living out all those amazing, fun times.
We may all get that feeling sometimes when we feel as though we aren't okay. We may feel that we are sinking. We don't want that! You may ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way? Am I okay?" The answer is, YES. We all may feel that way and that is another feeling of safety. We all may feel anxious as though maybe our loved one doesn't love/ like us anymore, but the truth is, they will always love us no matter if they are in Heaven, or here with us. We all need to feel safe in our grief, and that is a MUST.
Once again, grief is so hard to get through, and if we feel safe with it, it becomes a little easier. It's kind of like our self image, like if we feel confident in who we are, then others will accept us as well, and it will be easier to be ourselves.
Feeling safe in grief is just like feeling safe in any situation. For example, do you feel safe when you are in a car with your best friend on the way to the movies or dinner? Yes? No? Well, grief is the same because do you feel safe when you are home alone and have no where and no one to talk to about your grief? Yes? No? Grief is so strange, but we can get through it!
I'll leave you with a quote that I've heard ever since my mom passed away.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Gandhi
Good luck, and have faith that you are safe and you don't need to feel alone nor afraid.
Here is a link to a video on YouTube which deals with grief, and quotes from people who know what we are going through. Check it out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXpcAFT8hU0
As Always,
Elizabeth
Picture at the left:
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Picture at the right:
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