How Can I Deal With My 'Everlasting' Grief?

I take it you would like some support with your personal, what-seems-like-forever grief.  You are in the right place!  I have had to deal with it as well, ever since I was twelve years old. Now being a seventeen year old girl having to grow up without my mother has been difficult, but I have gotten through it.  Yet grief is a life-long process, it does get easier. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even though I know it seems there is no way that is possible.  It is harder being a teenager and losing a loved one, I know because I had and have to deal with it everyday.  We get worried that our peers, teachers, or other family members will judge us because of our possible emotions that occur with grief. A tip to do is, don't let them get to you. You deserve this time to grieve because grief is a very difficult process. No one can tell you, "Oh, it's been (however long it's been since your loved one(s)), shouldn't you be over it by now?" The answer is, no! You take as long as you need to take to grieve. Those comments and/or questions can drive some us crazy, and that is okay because no one knows how grief feels until they experience it for themselves.


Grief is a special, personal relationship between you and the person who passed on.  Life does go on after the death, even though I know, it feels, at first, like an endless pit of sadness and uncontrollable emotions.  Here are some tips that can make the grieving process more manageable.

Top 10:
1. Stay busy and don't dwell on your sadness.
2. If you want, sit quietly and talk to the person or persons that have passed away; it does not need to be out loud but can be in your own mind.
3. Don't worry about displeasing your peers, parents, or teachers with your grief, it takes time and there is no time limit of when grief should permanently end.
4. Join a support group of other teens just like you who have been through the same experiences as you have, it makes it so much easier because I joined one, and I learned I am not alone in this.
5. Talk to friends of family members who you know will listen to you when you need to express yourself, it makes it more difficult if you decide to talk to someone who has no knowledge of grief, or someone who couldn't care less if you were going through a difficult time. Expressing yourself openly is the best medicine.
6. Don't try to 'move on' or 'forget your loved one,' but try to 'move forward.' This takes time. It is not very possible to do if the death is recent, but as time subsides, moving forward in life becomes much easier and not as scary.
7. Don't take out your feelings on others, especially others who are grieving the same person.
8. Write in a journal or diary. It is a secret, or open place to explain how you are personally feeling that day, week, month, year, second, etc. No one has to see it except for you.
9. Look through old photo albums with that person's picture in it, to help you remember them in a happy, better state. It helps a lot, too, when you can remember that same time when the photo(s) were taken
10. Enjoy the teenage years! Don't let grief overpower you in anything, whether it be your social life or your school life. Love life! After a loved one passes on, we learn how precious life truly is.
~Let me know if you would like me to add more tips. Hope these help. Live. Laugh. Love.

As Always,
Elizabeth


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